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Wizard World L.A. 2007 Photo Blog

This past weekend, my friend Paul and I checked out the Wizard World convention at the Los Angeles Convention Center. It was smaller and more personal than the San Diego Comic-Con. And unlike the Comic-Con, Wizard World was actually centered around comic books.

Wow, look at all the people waiting in line for Wizard World? No, wait -- those people are in line for "American Inventor," hoping to get on TV and let Simon Cowell mock their idea for a cat hair remover or a one-legged lawn chair. How rare to see a group of people that comic book geeks can look at and say, "Wow, what a bunch of losers."

"Excuse me, have you seen the line for Wizard World? Hello?"

"Welcome to Wizard World. Please walk right on in. Ignore the spinning blades and the carcass trough."

"Oh my god, lady, look out behind you! It's H.R. Giger not getting any royalties!"

Ah, booth babes. Beautiful, beautiful booth babes.

The Xenomorph is wearing sneakers.

The Marvel Booth. Was there even a DC booth? I don't remember it. Does DC even still make comics? Does Matter-Eater Lad have his own title?

"Hey, anybody seen Optimus Prime? Ni**a owes me fifty bucks!"

The HeroClix figure for Fin Fang Foom, He Whose Limbs Shatter Mountains and Whose Back Scrapes the Sun. That's the Thor figure facing off against him.

More HeroClix action.

Pirates of the Spanish Main collectible card game, where you assemble your own little pirate ships.

The HorrorClix Alien vs. Predator game. The Alien Queen detaches from her egg sac to devour her enemies.

Paul Ang checks out the new HeroClix figures.

Paul's Storm, Psylocke and Marrina gang up on my Hulk. Cowards! Hulk smash!

PLAYSTATION 3 on display.

The Atomic Comics van. Sweeeeet.

The Galactus Kubrick. He will eat your planet, if it is small and square.

"Battlestar Galactica" MimiMates. Front row, from left: Starbuck(?), Admiral Cain, Admiral Adama, Colonel Tigh, Lt. Dualla, Starbuck, Apollo. Back row: a bunch of Cylon Centurions, with Number 6 in the middle.

Evolution's recently-released "MotorStorm."

Karaoke! Good thing there were some teenage girls around, who might be interested in that sort of thing.

The tabletop gaming area. Very popular.

Wanna buy some DreamBlade figures? $18 each? (DreamBlade is a great game, though.)

How did I live a full and complete life, before I could hang pastel drawings of the stars of "Heroes" on my wall?

Comic books and action figures. What else do you need?

Girls.

"Hulk not like statue of Hulk. Hulk not like magic purple pants."

I totally fell in love with this Fujiko Mine pachinko machine. I offered the guy $200 for it, but he wouldn't go lower than $280. I should have paid it.

So the HeroClix people had a raffle, for the chance to buy a Fin Fang Foom figure for $90. Paul and I both entered, and we both won. So Paul was able to buy two figures, each of which came these other fabulous free prizes.

Here's Fin Fang Foom in his box.

Fin Fang Foom fully assembled.

Did Marvel's writers really think that "Fin Fang Foom" was a realistic Chinese name?

Avataritoria, GGL's MMORPG Blog

Hey Kuno, you haven't been blogging. Why is that?

I have been blogging. But I've been busy setting up and running GGL's new blog dedicated to all things MMO, Avataritoria. Check it out! NOW!

Don't worry, my attention shall turn back to the Kendo Club very soon.

Today in Gaming 19.12.06

Welcome to “Today in Gaming,” GGL’s daily roundup of general gaming news, rumors, and interesting linkage. If you enjoy “Today in Gaming,” or notice any cool news or links we should cover, mention it in the forum below, or email kunochan@ggl.com.

If you don’t like this new feature and wish to complain, please write your opinions on a white, unlined 3x5” card (hand printed, no cursive), and mail it to The Embassy of the United States to Ulaanbaatar/Mongolia, P.O. Box 1021, Ulaanbaatar-13, Mongolia.


Sony to Offer UMD Movies as Downloads
With movie studios and retailers no longer supporting the PlayStation Portable’s UMD movie format, Sony is planning to offer PSP-compatible movies for download. The movies will have to be downloaded on a PC, and then transferred over.

Of course, the PSP already plays MPEG-4 video. So the whole effort seems pretty pointless.


Time Magazine’s Overhyped Failures of the Year: “Snakes on a Plane,” O.J.’s Book, PLAYSTATION 3
In an article called “5 Things That Went From Buzz to Bust,” venerable MSM juggernaut Time Magazine prematurely but accurately describes the total failure of the PLAYSTATION 3.

From the article: The big story in computer games this year was HOW TO BLOW A HUGE LEAD, by Sony. Its PlayStation 2 was the champ in the last round of the console wars. This time Sony bet on a chip called the Cell and a disc format called Blu-ray. They're probably awesome, but how would anybody know? The PS3 is hideously expensive--it goes for up to $600--and Sony manufactured only a piddling few hundred thousand for the U.S., fewer for Japan. Plus it's hard to write games for; the launch titles were lame. You know you're in trouble when you get beat by something called a Wii.

They forgot to mention Sony’s insulting arrogance toward their own customers, or the fact that the console’s name is YELLING at us. Check back soon in the forum below, where Sony super-fanboy djWHEAT will cut me a new one.

It seems even Sony recognizes their new system is just too expensive – but they’re spinning it as a selling point. Maybe they are taking lessons in self-delusion from the Bush administration.


Lawyers Find Out About Wiimote; Personal Responsibility Surrenders
To no one’s surprise, a class action lawsuit against Nintendo has been announced, over the “defective” wiimote strap. The fact that you really have to be a dumbass to break your wiimote strap will not enter into the equation, of course.

One wonders is the law will change to require safety straps for baseball bats, marching band batons, conductor's wands and lightsaber replicas. Maybe pencils and soda straws, too. Hell, let's just ban holding things in hands altogether. All because some woman in the farm belt got too excited and bonked her kid on the head with a two ounce piece of plastic. Think of the children!


"Burning Crusade" Contains a Musical Sequence


No, really.

Kotaku makes it sound like it’s a Broadway musical number. It is kind of funny, though.

Read GGL.com!

Fox Announces "Firefly"-themed MMORPG

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] Alright, there’s no getting’ around this. There’s Reavers on the other side of that door.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Mercenary> Jayne] Wuh de ma.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Engineer> Kaylee] We’re all gonna die! And I ain’t shtupped the Doctor yet!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Medic> Simon] What!??

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] Keep your heads! We can do this. It ain’t no worse than the Battle of Serenity Valley –

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Mercenary> Jayne] Aw man --!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Engineer> Kaylee] Cap’n!!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<First Officer> Zoe] Sir, I don’t think this is the time --

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] I remember, I tol’ that young browncoat we was too pretty to die…

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<First Officer> Zoe] Sir, this is no time to reminisce about past victories –

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Mercenary> Jayne] You lost that battle. And the war.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<First Officer> Zoe] We need a plan, sir.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] Right.

[Party Chat] [<Captain> Mal] Wash!

[Serenity Bridge] [<Pilot> Wash] Grrrr! Grrrr! I’m a dinosaur!

[Party Chat] [<Captain> Mal] Wash! Get on party chat!

[Party Chat] [<Pilot> Wash] WTF???

[Party Chat] [<Captain> Mal] Can we just fly ourselves outa this gorram mess?

[Party Chat] [<Pilot> Wash] No way, Captain. It’d take at least 30 seconds to fly out of this deadspace instance. We ain’t got the shields to survive that long.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] Kaylee, I thought we earned a Shield Upgrade 1 in the Niska’s Skyplex instance.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Engineer> Kaylee] Yeah, Cap’n, but a Firefly-class ship ain’t got the slots for it. And since you refuse to upgrade ---

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] It’s the name of the show!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Companion> Inara] Let’s worry about the Reavers, alright?

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] Oh look, the whore has an opinion!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Companion> Inara] Excuse me, I have 62 points in trained abilities, including four dots in Space Combat Tactics. What do you have again?

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Mercenary> Jayne] And ten dots in sucking a man’s yáng dào.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Companion> Inara] <Inara glares at Jayne and rolls her eyes>

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Medic> Simon] This is no time for emotes! I have no combat skills at all!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Mercenary> Jayne] Yeah, why’d we bring him along again?

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<First Officer> Zoe] He buys tons of Alliance credits from Chinese gold farmers on eBay.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Shepherd> Book] This situation reminds of the Parable of the Lesbian Wiccan. One day when Willow was studying in the school library, --

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] /ignore book

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] Alright, here’s what we’re gonna do, and y’all listen up! Jayne, equip that Blue Sun Railgun IV we got on Bellerophon.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Mercenary> Jayne] Now we’re talkin’!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] Zoe, click on me and gimme the Sycophantic Follower buff, and make sure your Dual Wield is on. Wash, I know you think it’s OOC, but get some armor on and grab a gun. Inara, make sure you got Exude Eroticism and Sarcastic Putdown set to function keys. Doc, stay back and give healing buffs, but watch for ranged attacks. Kaylee, give everyone the Indomitable Spirit buff, and test for tech weaknesses when we get inside the Reaver ship. Jayne, give Kaylee the Kevlar Armor II.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Engineer> Kaylee] I’m an Engineer. I can’t wear Kevlar Armor until level 20.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] Taikong suoyou de xingqiu saijin wo de pigu! Wait, what about the Blue Hands buff? That adds 100 armor points.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Engineer> Kaylee] That’s Alliance Faction only, Cap’n! Lovable Libertarian Space Pirate Faction can’t use it.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] Fine. Here. Open your inventory, take my Leather Duster IV. I’ll rely on Zoe’s Take the Bullet buff.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<First Officer> Zoe] I would die for you, sir.

[Party Chat] [<Pilot> Wash] Zoe, can we talk in Marriage Chat please?

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] Alright. We Stealth and use the crates and cows for cover. When the cargo bay door pops, we left click on the Reavers and wait until they come within range of Inara’s Situational Discomfort. But everyone stay within 15 feet of me, or you lose my leadership buffs. And most importantly, --

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Sexy Superheroine> River] LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEROY JEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNNKINS!!!!!!!!!!!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] Nooooo!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Mercenary> Jayne] Wuh de ma!!!!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Medic> Simon] There’s Reavers spawning everywhere! Don't let them aggro!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Engineer> Kaylee]Oh, Simon! Do me before we die!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Medic> Simon] What's the key for that?

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Shepherd> Book] I’m dead!

[Serenity Bridge] [<Pilot> Wash] I’m dead too!

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Companion> Inara] Well, you guys weren’t gonna survive the movie anyway.

[Serenity Cargo Bay] [<Captain> Mal] River! Gorram psychotic little --- you ruined the raid!

If “The Lord of the Rings” Had Been Written By a Game Developer

If “The Lord of the Rings” Had Been Written By a Game Developer
By Erik Even

Frodo Baggins of the Shire stooped over in Farmer Maggot’s field and harvested another mushroom cap. As long as he moved slowly, and did not creep into their line of sight, the farmer’s mean old hounds, Grip, Fang and Wolf, would remain asleep under a nearby willow tree.

The hobbit stowed the newly-purloined mushroom cap and started off in search of another. He had been sneaking about for hours, collecting as many of the fungi as he could find. When he returned to Bag End, he would be able to trade the mushroom caps for another Vial of Galadriel.

Locating another mushroom cap near the same pond where Frodo once harvested Watcher in the Water Scales, the halfling attempted to put the tiny toadstool in his bag. But alas! His inventory was full, and there was no room!

Frodo pawed through his collection of rabbit skins, warg’s teeth, caskets of Longbottom Leaf, Lesser Elven Rings, Second Age Blades, Evenstar Necklaces, Balrog’s Claws and Gollum Dung, looking for something he could discard. But a noise drew the hobbit’s attention to the east.

Someone was coming over the ridge, from the direction of the Stock-brook. Frodo armed himself, brandishing Andúril in his own field of view, to the lower right. But the blade did not glow, for the newcomer was no enemy.

“Why, it’s old Gandalf,” Frodo said to himself. The hobbit had not seen the wizard for almost six months, since that night at Bag End when the wizened conjurer had revealed to Frodo the terrifying secret of his uncle’s Ring.

“Confound it, you miserable little creature!” the wizard yelled, advancing on Frodo with his gray robes billowing around him. “I have been across Eriador and back looking for you! When I could not find you at Rivendell, Glorfindel, Aragorn and I searched The Wild for months! When I heard you had never arrived at Crickhollow, I feared the worst!”

Leaning heavily on his old staff, the wizard peered, exasperated, down at the hobbit. “What are you doing still in the Shire?”

“Collecting mushroom caps and athelas leaves,” the hobbit replied. “If I collect enough athelas leaves, I can trade them in at Michel Delving for Mithril Vests. And then I turn in the Mithril Vests to the dwarf at the North Farthing Stone, and he ---“

“Athelas leaves? Mithril Vests?” the wizard burst out, huffing and puffing. “What is this nonsense? Did you hear nothing I told you? Sauron seeks the One Ring! The Nine are abroad, searching for ‘Shire’ and ‘Baggins!’ We agreed that you would flee The Shire by September!”

“Yes, but I could not leave The Shire with nothing but the waistcoat on my back,” Frodo replied. “By training in the art of tanning and making leather breeches, I was able to earn enough gold to buy this excellent Dwarf Helm from Fatty Bolger ---“

But Gandalf was no longer listening, his attention drawn to Frodo’s shining blade. “By the Holy Silmarils! Is that the blade of Isuldur reforged? How --?”

“Silmarils?” Frodo asked, rummaging through his sack. “I have four or five of those here. Barliman Butterbur trades them for Miruvor Vials when you go to the Prancing Pony to heal.”

“Frodo!” Gandalf cried, as the old man rose up suddenly proud and strong like an elf king of old. “The armies of Mordor stand at the gates of Minas Tirith! Rohan has fallen, and Erebor is is besieged! The hour is late, and the Ring must be destr—is that really a Silmaril?”

The Halfling held aloft the holy jewel, which gave off the clear white light of a thousand stars.

“Sure,” Frodo said. “I’ll trade it for your staff.”

The 20 Sexiest Sci-Fi Babes Part 2

Be sure the read part one.

10. Max Guevera (“Dark Angel” 2000-02)

I could make all kinds of inappropriate jokes about a girl with spliced-in cat DNA, but I’ll restrain myself.

I don’t have to tell you that Max, aka Government Experiment X5-452, was hot – she was played by Jessica Alba, who takes hot to a new level not possible under the standard laws of physics. (Hey, I know! Let’s cast her as Invisible Girl!) But the show was kind of centered on Max being sexy, as well as kicking ass. Sort of like a futuristic, Seattle-based Abercrombie & Fitch ad. Maybe Max would go out with me if I could score her some tryptophan. (Wait, the tryptophan prevents her from going into heat? Never mind.)


9. Lana Lang (“Smallville” 2001-Present)

Yeah yeah, you’re with Clark, you’re not with Clark, you’re with him, you’re not, with, not, with, not, then you find out he’s Superboy, you die, come back, and Lex gets you pregnant. It’s too much drama, Lana. Especially since he’s just gonna move to Metropolis and fall for Lois. You’ve got that Chinese-Dutch thing working for you, Lana. You’re gorgeous. Work it. Find yourself a real human male, not some Aryan übermensch from space.






8. Rose Tyler (“Doctor Who” 2005-06)

One day she’s a poor London shopgirl living in a council flat with her overbearing mother and shiftless boyfriend; the next, she’s a time-traveling Universe-saving inter-galactic superheroine. How does a girl pull it off? By batting her beautiful eyes at any Time Lord who wanders by, of course.

Rose is smart, funny, vivacious, and in love with The Doctor, although the two of them never want to admit it. And it doesn’t hurt that she’s played by Billie Piper, the British Britney Spears.




7. Theora Jones (“Max Headroom” 1985-88)

The United Kingdom takes four of the top twenty (and an honorary fifth for Trillian?). As Edison Carter’s brainy and beautiful controller/sidekick/partner/love interest, Theora Jones was guardian angel to Network XXIII’s star reporter. If you were a geek in the 1980s, then Theora Jones was your ideal woman. As Max headroom would say, “I-I-I-I-I-I wouldn’t kick her out of bed for eating crack-crack-crackers!”






6. Kaylee Frye (“Firefly” 2002, “Serenity” 2005”)

“Goin' on a year now I ain't had nothin' twixt my nethers weren't run on batteries!” You know, Kaywinnit Lee, if’n that tree stump of a doctor ain’t gonna help y’all out in that respect, I reckon’ I might be willing ta fill in there.

Little Kaylee is as much the heart of Serenity as the ship’s photon-reaction drive. But the plucky, homily-spouting cutie is apparently a wildcat in the sack as well. She’s the one ship’s engineer with whom I’d like to get trapped on an island. Sorry, Scotty.




5. Kara Thrace (“Battlestar Galactica” 2003-Present)

They said a woman couldn’t be a cigar-chompin’, bar-brawlin’, whiskey-chuggin’ hotshot Viper pilot. Well, by “they” I mean Dirk Benedict. Dirk, you have officially had your ass handed to you.

In a stellar ensemble cast, Katee Sackhoff’s Kara Thrace is first among equals. It’s not just that she’s incredibly sexy – she shares screen time with Boomer, Six and Xena the Warrior Princess. Kara kicks ass and takes names in every way the original Starbuck did – PLUS she’s clever, bitter, loving, conflicted, and secretly paints pictures. She’s neither the stereotypical kick-ass superheroine, nor the stereotypical kick-ass superheroine who is secretly fragile. She’s the kick ass superheroine who is secretly fragile, but will never let that fragility take her down. Not ever.

4. Seven of Nine (“Star Trek: Voyager” 1997-2001)

Who would Annika Hansen have been if she hadn’t been assimilated by The Borg at the age of six? A big fat nobody, that’s who! Well, maybe not big and fat – on a typical Federation diet, she would have been at least Jeri Ryan-hot. But she would never have been Seven of Nine-hot! There’s nothing like a skin-tight gray jumpsuit and a metal eyebrow to turn a guy’s crank.

Sure, Seven was emotionally unavailable, but that was just because of her alien upbringing. Also, if your only choices were the “men” of Voyager, you might choose chastity as well. Yikes. No wonder she only hung out with the Doctor.

3. Jean Grey (“X-Men” films 2000-2006)

First let’s get something straight. The real Jean Grey committed suicide in “The Uncanny X-Men” #137 in 1980. Every issue since then with “Jean Grey” in it is a PACK OF LIES.

That said, Famke Janssen’s Jean Grey in the “X-Men” films is its own, separate character, and that character is amazing. Call it the superheroine who is openly, obviously, heart-breakingly fragile. You just want to run over to her and wrap your arms around her, even if it means, a la Brett “Let’s destroy the franchise” Ratner, she’ll disperse you into millions of colored CGI chunklets. If there’s another “X-Men” movie, let’s hope this time they do bring Jean Grey back from the dead.

Oops, that was a spoiler. If you haven’t seen “Last Stand,” don’t read that last sentence.

2. Sharon Valeri (“Battlestar Galactica” 2003-Present)

Grace Park plays three characters on BSG.

There’s Athena, who the producers call Sharon and fans call Caprica-Boomer. She’s Helo’s wife, and mother of the Cylon Miracle Baby. She lives on Galactica.

Then there’s the one the producers call Boomer and fans call Galactica-Boomer. She was in love with the Chief, shot Adama, and teamed up with Caprica-Six to “save” humanity. Now she lives on a base star.

Finally, there’s Number 8, which is all the other thousands of Sharons, who always call Athena a traitor.

And I am in love with all of them. Even the ones that would kill me.

1. Leeloo (“The Fifth Element” 1997)

The perfect woman, the Supreme Being. That’s Milla Jovovich. No, sorry, I mean Leeloo, a.k.a. Leeloo Minai Lekatariba-Laminai-Tchaii Ekbat De Sebat, a.k.a. The Fifth Element.

Is it the orange dreads? The pale blue-green eyes? The perfect body? The Gaultier outfits? The adorable accent? The martial arts? The saving the Earth from the Ultimate Evil?

Out of all the science-fiction female ass-kicking secretly-fragile alien super-powered hotties, Leeloo is the ultimate. The perfect prototype. The geek’s ideal mate. Sigh. Too bad she doesn’t exist.


Be sure to read part one!